“Don’t worry… You have plenty of time.”
When I was in my teens and 20’s, my paternal grandmother, Nana, use to always tell me this, “Don’t worry Richard. You have plenty of time to figure out XYZ.” I know Nana meant well and that she loved me dearly, but there was and is no worse advice that can be given to a young person, in my opinion.
Time is the most valuable thing in our lives because it’s the one thing that we can never get back. We can always earn more money, switch careers, go back to school, marry, etc. Even though I was suicidal by the age of 10 and never looked forward to much in life and thought my time here was short, I still did not value time and wasted soooo much of it.
My advice to young people would be to get as many experiences as possible because at some point life will bog you down and you may not get the chance again. Now I am not talking about getting experiences like getting drunk or doing drugs… take it from someone who has been though some shit… nothing good comes from drugs or alcohol; and this most definitely includes marijuana. Period. (The occasional artist who claims to have found inspiration through drugs and alcohol is almost guaranteed to also be a miserable SOB or now dead.)
No, I am talking about meeting different kinds of people. Experiencing different ways of life. Looking outside the bubble you are growing up in and open yourself up to all of the possibilities of the universe. And yes, you are growing up in a bubble regardless of whether you are growing up in NYC or east bumfuck redneckville. I grew up on a college campus in a college town an hour outside NYC and thought it had offered me insight to a wide range of life; and perhaps it did, but it was still a bubble and there was so much more to the world and life than I experienced growing up at Stony Brook University.
Figure out what you are passionate about, because you may not have the chance later in life. Pursue your passions. If you want to paint, then paint. If you want to write, then write. If you want to help people, then help people. Pursue multiple passions. Don’t pigeonhole yourself (life will try to do that on its’ own). Do it now! Tomorrow may be too late. Life happens… we go to school, we get jobs, we get married, we have kids, we have jobs, we take on enormous stupid debt and then we’re stuck and may not have the chance to figure out what truly makes us tick. If you think this sounds too negative or unrealistic… log onto an online dating site and read the profiles of people in their late 30′ and 40’s! These sites are filled with people who let life get away from them and find themselves alone and unfulfilled as adults… at ages where it may be too late.
Now I am not talking about finding your passion in terms of figuring out what you want to do in life or as a career. Not everyone works at a job associated with a passion. Perhaps your passion will be a life long hobby or interest, regardless, figure it out as earlier as possible. Passions can support us when life gets hard, and life will get hard.
Also, and perhaps more importantly than passions, value the time you have with people whom you care about and love because we never know when those people will no longer be in our lives. Be appreciative of the teacher that takes the extra time to explain something to you or check on you when you obviously are struggling. Tell the people you love that you love them — don’t assume they know — tell them and tell them often… whether it’s a parent or grand parent or cousin or friend or lover. If you love someone don’t hold back and don’t be afraid to tell them. Don’t be stingy with your heart because you think that you have more time. Seriously, if today were the last day of your life who would you want to know that they were loved by you? Tell them. Show them in not just your words but in your actions. Don’t assume you will have time to make up for being an ass; we often don’t.
Plan for a future but don’t assume there will be a future. There is something to the old cliche, “Live each day as if you are dying,” because whether you are imminently dying or not, we are all dying all of the time, so make the most of every moment. Please.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it’s sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I’d something more to say.Home
Home again
I like to be here
When I canWhen I come home
Cold and tired
It’s good to warm my bones
Beside the fireFar away
Across the field
Tolling on the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spell