Tag: stressful

I am forty-eight years old. I have been married twice and in the middle/end of my second divorce. I live in a very rural remote area with a low population density. I don’t work. I am not a member of a church or other large social group. All of these things would make dating daunting for anyone within these demographics. Then add in to the mix my psych history and current physical illnesses… and dating can seem just about impossible.

Before I get into my own situation regarding dating, I feel I have to offer a few words of advice for women regarding online dating:

• Have a recent picture. This seems rather obvious but alot of women don’t have any photo at all or some of the photos are obviously from many years ago. What’s the point of advertising yourself as someone you USE to be versus who you ARE?
• The photo should be close to in focus. Again, this seems like a no brainer to me, but I’m a photographer, so maybe it’s not as obvious to others. What’s the point of having a picture that is out of focus? It makes you seem like you’re hiding something… or just blind?
• Don’t use filters. Again, this seems obvious to me as a photographer… but many of the IG filters really block off a large portion of your face and we can’t see what you really look like… and that leads us men to assume you don’t want us to see what you look like or are hiding some hideous feature.
• DO NOT PUT UP PHOTOS OF YOUR YOUNG CHILDREN!!!!! Again, this really seems like a no brainer to me but I can’t believe how many women do this. This is unsafe. Period. There are a lot of scumbags out there. There are a lot of pedophiles out there. I get that your children are a big part of your life and you want potential mates to know this… so write it. But having photos of you with your kids where the viewer can clearly see their faces is dangerous. What’s even more disturbing is some women put their children’s names in their personal ad!!!! WTF??!?!?!!? Most personal ads say where you live… so all some pervert has to do is see what town you live in and Google the schools… then show up and they know your name and your kids name. I hate to sound too harsh but this is plain fucking STUPID. Some women put up pics of their kids without them in the pic… just a pic of the kid. Are you advertising your child to a predator? Are you attracted to grown men who might be “attracted” to your children? Seriously… get smarter or get some damn therapy!

This is an actual photo taken from a Match profile. There was enough information in her profile that I was able to find out her last name and other information in less than 10 minutes on Google. To her credit, she did not give the boys names. But, there was more than enough information in her profile to find her in real life fairly easily and quickly. This is not an uneducated or unworldly woman! Actually, she is exactly the kind of woman that the best version of me would fall for. She is stunningly beautiful. She is educated. She is a fellow creative by trades. She is a born again Christian, and even though I am not one, I tend to agree with most of their moral and political stances. So, if a woman like this can make this “honest mistake” you can imagine what less sophisticated women are posting.

{NOTE: I did not look up this woman to stalk her or harm her or her children in any way. It was merely an exercise to see what could be found out in what amount of time. I have never had any pedophilia tendencies or thoughts. If I did, I would stick a gun into my mouth and pull the trigger. If you, the reader, have any pedophilia type urges… I suggest you put the gun all the way in and pull the trigger. Pedophiles deserves nothing less than death. Period. RK, if you’re reading this, I mean people like you.}

• Don’t put enough information in your profile for some stalker type to find you in real life, unless that is your goal. I don’t pay for many of the sites that I have posted profiles to and purposely put more than enough information in the profile for anyone one with half a brain to be able to find me in real life if they so choose. But then again, I am a guy, who doesn’t care if I die… and I sleep with a loaded 12 gauge.
• Your screen name on the dating site should not include your first or last name. Part of the reason I was so easily able to find the woman from the above photo is that her screen name was her real first name. 🙁
• Most of the pictures should be of you. So many women put up landscape pictures and memes in their dating profile. Why?
• One last thing… I can’t tell you how many profiles I have seen where there are several pictures and each of them have more than one person… and I am left flipping back and forth trying to figure out who the common denominator is!!!!! WTF? Seriously annoying!!!

OK… I’m done with my rant. Next, I will talk about the harsh realities for someone like me trying to date. Stay tuned.